So grandpa?

Not so bad after all....

Last week, I left off having just imparted to you, the humming of nerves in my chest. GC's grandfather had "things to say" about me.

Yikes.

As a person who enjoys, no- make that, thrives, on others' good opinion of me, the thought of having my main squeeze sequestered in a hallway with his grandfather passing judgment on me after only 3 months of girlfriend-dom, stirred in my gut those ever present fears of not being good enough, of being found out as a fraud who tries really hard, but still comes up short. 90% of the time I realize these fears are re-donk-ulous- it's the other 10% of the time I struggle with- which, all things considered, is probably about an average ratio. It's just one more piece of evidence to support the fact that I am human, despite my deep desire to strive for the unattainable goal of being all things to all people.

But this time, Praaaaise Be!, my fears of disapproval were wholly without merit. The scene went as follows:

A handsome young man walks through a dark, some would even call it dangerous, hallway. Harsh lights cast unnatural shadows of door jams and water fountains on the water-stained concrete floor. Suddenly, as if appearing between blinks of an eye or a flicker of the fluorescent lights, an old man with a face worn from years of life spent in the cooler, stands before the handsome man.

At once, the laughing eyes of the handsome man transform into the the wary danger-sensing look of a cat, pacing before an enemy. The old man begins,

"GC, so that girl at the food show...?"

Responding with a hesitancy trained into him after a lifetime of eggshell dancing, "Yes Grandpa?"

"You don't see a girl like that every day."

GC does his best to respond, embarking on the song and dance of, "We are having a good time so far, getting along really well and all,"

To which Grandpa replies, "Her head isn't filled with nonsense like all the other girls today"

Unsure of what to say at this point, the comments being so entirely out of character for his often stoic and negative-tending grandfather, "Yeah, she's very nice..."

Becoming embarrassed, his grandfather begins walking away, "I, uh, I don't know why I just said that, but she's, she's something else."

end scene.


Ok, so I may have dramatized the scene a just a tad, but the content was legit, promise. Having the grandpa seal of approval, I've gotta say, it feels pretty good.

(Just for the record, I didn't make GC suffer quite as much for withholding information as I originally intended, given the greatness of the information. Some form of payment was still, certainly due, but I let him live with only a minor sentence.)

Cleaning up. Moving on.

Well, last night's stand up was not exactly what I was hoping for, but it did result in the accomplishment of an incredible feat; my bedroom is clean. And not just clean as in I put all my laundry in the hamper, but dusted, vacuumed, swept, and straightened. The frenetic pace of my life in the past month or so has witnessed the gradual decline of my borderline OCD need to keep my dwelling clean and comfortable (there are only so many hours in a day) and as a result, the dust bunnies had actually begun to breed, and you know what they say about breeding rabbits. It ain't pretty.

Finding order in the chaos has always a therapeutic thing for me. Last night I was both annoyed and hurt. I know I know, I never even met the guy, he was just a picture and a profile. Well, let's just call it the straw that broke the camel's back. But one spotless room and a stubborn "Screw you, and your seriously lame 'I'm not going to be able to make it' exit strategy. I am going out to have coffee anyway!" later, I am feeling a little more my happy-go-lucky self this morning.

So now it is on to the next thing, bringing a bit of Christmas and the outdoors into my grand apartment, and making Christmas ornaments with my Little to hang on our newly purchased indoor Evergreen.

Though I myself may be ever green, and ever thinking I can expect all people to treat me as I would them, it is a sentiment I refuse to give up, despite having felt the singe of that naive expectation on multiple occasions. I will not allow a few wankers, as Amanda so aptly christened them, to spoil my outlook on life. Instead, I'll clean. And make Christmas ornaments the likes of which you've never seen!