So I maybe, kinda, sorta have a date tomorrow. I mentioned in an earlier post that I recently reentered the land of online dating and as it happens, I have been talking to this guy from match.com for a couple of weeks now via instant messenger. Based on our conversations, he seems an engaging and interesting person that I have quite a bit in common with. Though we have tried to connect a couple of times on the phone, we haven't been able to accomplish anything more than voice mails on either end. Personally, I am glad for this. I hate talking on the phone. But the absence of a phone conversation does put a little more pressure on the first face to face meeting, which it's looking as though may happen tomorrow. I am nervous about this on a number of levels.
1. What if we exhausted the topics usually covered in first dates via our online conversations? This could lead to some awkward bumbling on both our parts to find appropriate things to talk about.
2. What if I am not what he was expecting, and he is disappointed.
3. What if he is not what I was expecting and I am disappointed.
4. What if he is what I was expecting, and I find that I like him, and then proceed to sound like an idiot because I have never been very good at talking to men I am interested in.
5. What if things go great, we have lots to talk about, and the end of the meeting comes, and then what, handshake? Hug? Kiss? There are no rules for first time meetings of online couples...
6. What if he is a creep and I have to make a fast get-away.
This list could go on and on, but I won't bore you with my insecurities. Long story short, I am both nervous and excited about my maybe date. I am trying very hard to take it one step at a time and not freak out by reminding myself that I have on many occasions, managed my way through socially stressful situations without coming across as a crazy person, and that I myself, am an engaging and intelligent human being capable of carrying on conversations with people I have never met. The fact that he is 6'4" (swoon), cute (more swooning), and interested in me (this never happens), certainly adds a level of anxiety to the mix, but all I can do at this point is meet the guy, and see where is goes.
So tomorrow, if he calls like he said he would, if we meet for coffee as discussed, and I go on my first match.com maybe sorta date, I will try to be myself, and converse like a normal human being. I can't say I will play fairly, however. I intend to wear my hair down. :)
5 comments:
Shit. I have butterflies for you. No wisdom, except perhaps this: Forget all the other times, forget that it's never worked, that they've never liked you whatever things you've got rattling around in there.
Sean broke through a while bunch of skepticism on my part, and now, looking back, I realize what wasted energy it was. Approach it with the same optimism and energy that you seem to apply to everything else in your life, if he doesn't fall immediately, he was an 76 inches of not worth your time.
Ain't nothin' wrong with believing in the fairies and true love.
You are too wonderful not to have lightning strike some day.
ooh, good luck! i want to hear all about it. :)
you;re such a baller.
OH I am sooooo excited for you... especially since as I am writing this you might just well be out on your maybe sorta date, drinking coffee and chatting it up! You will be fine, I know. You and I seem to have quite a bit in common, and I too would have pondered beforehand the million and one different outcomes of meeting like this, even though, in the end everything seems to work itself out (and for a good reason). Whatever happens, it is a good thing and something to learn from. My fingers are crossed though, hoping that he is a wonderful guy and takes one look at your hair and realizes you are wonderful too...
Hello...? Update! You just commented on my blog so I know you have internet access. What the heck???
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