23 here I come!

Saturday marked the turning of my 23rd year. Yikes. I don't know about anyone else, but odd number years just sound older, 23 sounds older than 24, 35 sounds older than 36. It's strange. But I have decided, I am in fact, not old, or even close to it.

Old, Cool, Hot, these adjectives are entirely based on perspective. An example if you will; picture me, the now 23 year old, in my 8 year old youth, frolicking in the back yard, climbing trees, riding bikes, playing dress up and then continuing to climb trees while in "dress up" attire (otherwise known as 1970's era lingerie my mother purchased at a resale shop because it made for excellent beauty queen costumes). We had a babysitter named Christy, and she was everything I wanted to be. She was in, (sigh) high school. And she was so cool and grown up. She had a boyfriend, and played on the tennis team, which meant she must have been the most amazing tennis player to have ever graced the court. She was 16 and she drove this little beater of a car. My sisters and I crunched ourselves into the back when we drove to the grocery store to get summer treats and I can vividly remember one such trip where we had to hide from one of her ex-boyfriends (oh the drama!). When I reached 16, I realized with something akin to disappointment, that I was no where near as cool as Christy had been at 16. When I turned 21, a similar situation. I was not grown up, or sophisticated, and I definitely was not as "together" as I thought I would be at 16 or 21. Now at the ripe old age of 23, I can see it's all about perspective. Christy was the epitome of cool because she represented a teenager, someone that had experienced grown up things, but wasn't a parent or a teacher. I looked at her life through the rose colored glass of my young years and limited experience.

The same thing goes for "old". To someone in their 50's reading this, I am young and carefree, without their world of potential middle age worries, paying for college, taking care of kids, colonoscopes, mammograms. But for me, this is as old as I have ever been and I am feeling it acutely. The loss of my childhood, the rush of emotions that come mostly from fluctuating hormones, school dances, taking classes, final exams, term projects, all these things that have defined my 23 years are fresh in my mind. My perspective of age is derived from my experience, because what other measuring pole do any of us really have?

I probably seem to the children I have watched through years of babysitting, to be very grown up and together. Hehe, oh if they only knew. But I hope as I get older, and gain little pebbles of wisdom, I maintain the veil of rose colored glass that is youth, looking forward to every part of life as a child would view it, with high hopes and undaunted enthusiasm for what's to come. To have that, AND the ability to enjoy all that is this moment, to soak in life until my fingers get all pruny. With that I would be happy. With that, I would feel I did all I could to make my years on this earth count. Right now I am 23, with a lot to learn, and a lot to experience. But I have high hopes for what's next. I think 23 is going to be a pretty great year for me, I can feel it. Like a good book I can't put down, I am looking forward to turning every page.