All right, I am not sure who else out there tunes into C-SPAN, I mean, I do on a pretty regular basis, but I am not sure that is the norm, at least for someone my age. Well let me just say, there is some pretty good entertainment on the channel of politics in action.
Yesterday, while flipping through stations dedicated to the very important and world changing issues of infomercials, QVC, reality TV and movies starring the incredibly talented actor, Dwayne Douglas Johnson, ie. former WWF wrestler, "The Rock", I happened upon a recording of the British House of Commons. I have stumbled upon this in the past, and let me say, I kind of always hope it's on. It's a guilty pleasure, akin to episodes of The Office and romance novels. Indeed, there are some striking similarities between the three.
Though no one is sporting a white powered wig (a sad loss), you won't find politics more entertaining than this, well excepting perhaps the incredible vocal stylings of our "Man in Charge". Picture this, a room packed with the voice of the common man, (the elected representatives of each district within the UK), the Prime Minister Tony Blair and his posse, the head honcho for Tony's opposing party and HIS posse, seated directly across from Tony, and a large centrally located table with a couple of micro phones placed on either side. The room is set up in a fashion similar to the arena where small animals such as roosters, or dogs have illegal fights in the basements of seemingly legit butcher's shops. And trust me, the battles that ensue in this "public forum" have a similar bite. But for the sake of decency, there is an appointed Speaker to maintain order, currently that task falls to Michael Martin I believe. (I am pretty sure he has a much larger role than merely officiating one of the largest branches of the British government, but for the sake of my story, he is pretty much wearing the black and white stripes.)
Once the session begins, anyone who wants to ask a question, make a point, take a jab at the Prime Minister, hear themselves talk, take one for the team, throw in a few statistics, give their respective party a leg up, or shoot the shit, as it were, aggressively stands in unison, some almost jumping out of their seats, others, ACTUALLY jumping out of their seats, hoping the speaker will see them first and allow them to voice any of the aforementioned alternatives. Once a person is identified (though I imagine the Speaker probably just guesses, because I mean really, who would actually be able to pick the first to stand, and what of the people with knee problems, who can't burst from their chairs as easily as their sprightly and nimble counterparts?) the rest sit, many like sulking school boys who hang their heads and look forlorn.
Whoever "stood up first" (yeah, right), will continue standing and proceed with their comment amidst what can only be referred to as loud grumbling. Sometimes the grumbling grows to yells and at times I believe, cat calls. If a question is posed, the Prime Minister will bound from his chair to the podium, binder in hand, full of what I can only assume is page upon page of potential answers for potential questions brought to the House that day... it's a pretty big binder, and then, usually having to yell over the laughs, chuckles, and cat calls of the representatives, (while leaning on an elaborate avocado colored chest serving as a podium), answers the question and trys not to laugh with the rest of the crowd. After the question is answered, he bounds back to his chair and everyone else immediately jumps from their seats repeating the process of "first to stand" and hoping for the Speaker to "PICK ME!!!! PICK ME!!!!".
And this is what they do, almost the entire time the House is in session. It is Hilarious, not only because of the method, but also because while people are insulting each other (or the Prime Minister for that matter), they are throwing around terms like "Right Honorable Gentleman"... and ""The Good Sir/Madam" ...for example, "The Right Hornorable Gentleman is son to a horses ass and a can't even bother to show up for meetings held to discuss the very issue he is complaining about." Ok that might have been a slight exaggeration, but you get the point.
So to make a long story short, for those of you who think politics are dry and pointless, I encourage you to watch C-SPAN more often. If you happen to catch the House of Commons, you are in for a great show. I personally think the US Senete and House of Representatives could take a few cues from their hilarious methods. And don't get me wrong, I am not belittling the British system of government at all. In fact, I think it's pretty fricken cool that members of the House of Commons are having a great time while they speak for the people. Laughing and grumbling WHILE getting stuff done. Sounds like a plan to me
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