Big Sister, Little Sister

I am a big sister. Biologically, I have a younger sister. Her name is Corrie, and she is beautiful, and charming and I love her more than she could possibly know. But I am also a Big Sister through Big Brothers Big Sisters of Warren County (from here on out referred to as BB/BS). I am the "Big" for a "Little" named Jesyka, a ten year old bursting with energy who has more to deal with than many adults.

We first began our match about a month ago when I sat down with Jesyka, her mom Becky, and our case manager Leanne to determine if we would get along together. I wasn't too worried about it for the long run, but I must confess, I still got a few butterflies in my stomach. I wanted her to like me, and I met her with images of every "cool" babysitter I ever had floating around in my mind. It was only moderately uncomfortable for the duration of our somewhat stunted conversation about Jesyka's likes and dislikes, her allergies and the obligatory reading aloud of the BB/BS match agreement. At the end of our first hour together, a time and date had been arranged for the next meeting we would share, just she and I.

Though I had been a Big in high school, experiencing this as an adult has given me a whole new perspective on what it means to be a Big. Though I didn't view my high school match as a resume builder as many of my peers did, I did from time to time find it a burden I would rather not have had to worry about. I barely had time to hang out with my friends with Club Volleyball taking me out of the state every other weekend, my demanding school calendar filled with AP classes and extracurricular clubs, not to mention college applications, scholarship applications, dances, and all the other things high school seniors have to worry about. Kara was a sweet little girl and I always felt a little guilty about not be able to give her the attention she deserved.

Though I am still a busy person with a lot on my plate, I can more fully appreciate the role I play in Jesyka's life. She is in this program because she needs attention, and good role models, particularly female role models, someone to spend time with her because they want to be a part of her life. For me, I love being able to give back some of what I experienced growing up, having had more good influences than I knew what to do with. So far we have: wandered around the mall (which may not sound particularly exciting, but to a ten year old, let me tell you, she was thrilled) taken a cruise on one of the steamboats on Lake George, and on Sunday, set up a fish tank complete with glow in the dark plants.

I am sure there will be days when I am feeling too tired to hang out, and there will be times when I would rather be with my friends, but on those days, I'll just remind myself of why I am doing this. She needs people who don't let her down, people who show her there are a lot of good things worth working for. And for my part, I can learn what it means to grow up in her world. A world I have never had to live in, a world with poverty and drug abuse, with deadbeat dads and handicapped siblings. My life isn't perfect, and there are things I do without, but it would be a lie to say I don't live a relatively carefree life. I can make rent every month, I have a cell phone and fancy cheese and crackers once in a while. My car is reliable, I have a college education, and both my parents know and love me. If I can put even a few of those blessings back into this world, I will.