For all those times you think you really screwed up as a parent, (though I still consider those up for debate) I want you to know, I learned just as much as when your parenting was spot on. This is how I know:
Parenting Screw Up #1- Losing a Child in Woolworth's
Lesson Learned- it's a dual lesson really, the first lesson? hiding in cupboards in a crowded store is probably not the best place to play the hide and seek game only you know about, lesson two? It's important to love people to the point you fear losing them.
Parenting Screw Up #2- Fighting in Front of the Kids
Lesson Learned- People fight, it's part of life, it's how you deal with it that matters.
Parenting Screw Up #3- The big "D" word, Divorce
Lessons Learned- On the big issues, it's important to see eye to eye, on the little issues compromise is essential, and for everything else, communicate. Don't allow resentments to grow; if you feel hurt tell them , if you feel unappreciated, talk about it, if you need something more from the relationship, lay it all on the table. Forgive. Leave the past in the past. Don't be afraid to ask the hard questions early on, and make sure you're each other's number one supporter.
Parenting Screw Up #4- Working and Child Rearing
Lesson Learned- Ok, this is in no way a screw up, sometimes it's just necessary. But since you sometimes feel bad about it; working hard is an important part of life. Striving to improve yourself so you can be better for yourself and those around you keeps you ever evolving and never stagnant. Sometimes you don't want to go to work, but you have to anyway.
Parenting Screw Up #5- Bad Day Syndrome
Lesson Learned- Everyone has bad days. Waking up the next day and apologizing if necessary is ok too.
Ok, so hopefully my parents are not really annoyed that I shared some of what they might deem as parenting blunders, but I really don't see it that way. They know I'm not perfect and still love me. That's a two way street. I consider myself lucky every day for the two (incredibly different) parents that I have. Sure, they may not have always had all the answers, and they may have wanted to kill my sisters and I at times, but a day hasn't gone by where they didn't let us know we were loved. They loved us enough to set limits, to say yes and no, to show us all the amazing opportunities this world holds. They each loved us enough to be apart from us because no matter what, "the girls stay together", enough to make us do chores and earn our allowance, enough to sometimes take a step back and let us make our own decisions even if it meant we failed, they loved us enough to put aside their own differences for our happiness. Simply put they did a great job and I couldn't have chosen two better people to guide me through the first 24 years of my life, even if they are just a bunch of screw ups :)
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