Instantly 20 years older.

I know in my last post I promised to share the details of the much anticipated engagement story (I need to stop doing that. Promising future posts is hard to keep up with!). But in the past week, life has happened in such a way that I cannot pretend everything is rosy and wonderful when in reality, something happened so out of my realm of expertise, I hardly know how to move forward.

To those of you who might be panicking that the engagement is off, relax. That is not the case whatsoever. The GC and I are great. In fact, the events of the last week have, if anything, brought us closer. This is an event surrounding teenagers. Dumb ones.

As I have mentioned in the past, GC has an adopted son (whom I refer to as Caesar). He recently turned 17 and as you might expect, thinks he not only knows everything, but is a full-fledged, you can't tell me what to do, the world revolves around me, "adult".

Well, without going into specifics, Caesar blew it, big time. And as a result, in the past week my role as a supporting, mediating fiance to GC and friend to Caesar, has shifted into a very parental role, and not the happy kind of parental role, but the kind you hope and pray you never have to fill.

I sat across the table from a 15 and 17 year old and expressed such deep levels of disappointment, I surprised even myself. No longer could I be the compromising, negotiating and pacifying person I usually strive to be. Instead I had to be cold and uncompromising. Things I never thought I would say, as a parent, and much less as a 25 year old, passed my lips without regret. A breech of trust occurred to such an extent, that the GC and I are now forced to fill Caesar's time, his privilege to stay home alone lost. His time will be accounted for, and he will be required to treat GC and I with the respect we have always deserved, but have never been given. The free ride is over, and Caesar has earned every bit of it. This is his last chance.

I know many of you reading this blog don't know me personally, but for those of you who do, I hope my actions and relationships with each of you thus far have shown that I would never resort to such extreme measures without just cause. It may sound severe, but trust me, I have fought not to take this path. I come from the camps of "He's only 17 and you can't expect him to behave as an adult." and "Don't be too hard on him, he comes from a rough past where those that should have loved him didn't."

The last 18 months however, have demonstrated a slow downward progression of Caesar's behavior and regard for the feelings of those around him, especially those that care for him most. GC especially has borne the brunt of this ill will. I wished and rationalized Caesar's behavior away. I at times, even blamed GC for how things were transpiring, not wanting to believe Caesar could be so callous and overtly disrespectful. The last 7 days have shown however, just how little respect he does have for GC, and in addition, the recklessness of his behavior, with immature "solutions" at best to its potential consequences.

Both before and after this event occurred, I cried. First out of heartbreak for the potential consequences of Caesar's decisions and actions, and then for myself, because what the hell do I know about any of this! I'm 25, I have no kids of my own, let alone the privilege of having raised those kids from birth. I've been on the scene a brief 18 months, and now I am having to impress upon them the seriousness of their very adult decisions. In the last week, I feel as though I have aged considerably, I am a 25 year old dealing with middle aged problems. But because GC and I are the adults, we now have to behave that way. It's the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

It may sound crazy, but I take pride in the fact that GC and I are strong enough to do this, particularly when the people who should have been having this talk with their son, namely Caesar's real parents, couldn't be bothered. It's what responsible parents do, even when ignoring the issue is easier. They care about their kids enough to not always be nice and accommodating each of their child's whims. They draw the line in the sand of expected behavior and do their best to enforce it. That's what we're doing. Honestly, despite the pain it has caused each of us in different ways, our relationship is stronger for it.

Casear might completely disregard all the things GC and I have ever said to him, that's his choice. But I will go to bed at night knowing I did everything I knew to do to teach him how to be an adult, how to be truly responsible for his actions and their consequences, and how to be a man in the face of those consequences.

Despite what Caesar might think, I am not an evil dictator on a power trip over two teenagers. When the proverbial s%&t hit the fan, I made it clear I did not think he or his friend were bad people. In fact, I told them reason I cried was for what they could be throwing away. I cried because I do care for both of them very much and that I think they are good, smart people. That was the reason their recent escapades were so heartbreaking. That fact however, does not mean I have to support the poor decisions they are knowingly making. I can and will do everything in my power to prevent their behavior from continuing, so they might as well get used to it. The party is over.