I have been thinking about the future lately. A lot. I've thought about how sometimes it seems I am getting way behind, missing things, letting myself get sucked into the everyday monotony without moving forward.
I've thought about my professional life, the job I'm at and the job I want and if those two things are the same.
I've thought about my emotional life, and how the love I have now and love I hope for in the next phase of my life is going to be different.
I've thought about the town I live and if it's a place I can see myself for a while.
I've thought about school and whether or not now is the right time to go back.
I've thought about what it's really going to take to get Trinabags off the ground.
I've thought about how much I miss my friends and family sometimes, and how I wish everyday that I could hug my mom, shoot the shit with my friends, or ask advice from my older sister, face to face.
I'm in my 20's man, 24 to be exact. And in the next 5 years a whole lot of things are going to change. Some changes might be expected, and some might be totally out of left field. But they're going to change.
In the process of thinking about all these things, I decided to take a quick look at where I've been in the hopes of seeing more clearly where I should go. Where better to look than the history books of my college career. I dusted off my resume, re-read some creative writing shorts (which I thought were much better then than I do now) and went over some simple assignments I had received from an incredible professor.
One of those assignments was a 5 year and 10 year list of life goals, found below, unedited.
Five Year Goals:
• Graduate with honors from the University of Mary Washington
• Buy a car
• Find a job (preferably one I like, but I am willing to work a crap job for a little while until I figure things out)
• Decide whether or not I want to go to graduate school and apply accordingly
• Be able to pay all my own bills
• Move out of my parents house
• Go to Ireland
• Save some money, if possible, start investing in some kind of 401K
• Continue making artwork, no matter what, even if it is made of the cheapest materials imaginable
• Have work in a non-academic exhibition
Ten Year Goals:
• Own a small business/ gallery
• Own a home
• Have received my graduate degree if that is the course I choose
• Have a developed and mature portfolio
• Have exhibitions/residencies/grant opportunities
• Be married or on that track (family is very important to me)
• Have some money invested for retirement etc.
• Have a feeling of success, regardless of income
• Travel to several foreign countries and see a large amount of the USA
• Write a book
• Maintain my work ethic and determination
• Enjoy where I am at
And here again, with a little editing:
Five Year Goals:
• Graduate with honors from the University of Mary Washington- CHECK!
• Buy a car- CHECK!
• Find a job (preferably one I like, but I am willing to work a crap job for a little while until I figure things out)- CHECK!
• Decide whether or not I want to go to graduate school and apply accordingly- CHECK!
• Be able to pay all my own bills- CHECK!
• Move out of my parents house- CHECK!
• Go to Ireland- SORT OF CHECK- WENT TO ROME INSTEAD
• Save some money, if possible, start investing in some kind of 401K- CHECK!
• Continue making artwork, no matter what, even if it is made of the cheapest materials imaginable- CHECK!
• Have work in a non-academic exhibition- CHECK!
Ten Year Goals:
• Own a small business/ gallery- CHECK! (THE BUSINESS PART)
• Own a home- NOT JUST YET
• Have received my graduate degree if that is the course I choose- NOT THE COURSE FOR NOW
• Have a developed and mature portfolio- GETTING THERE
• Have exhibitions/residencies/grant opportunities- CHECK!
• Be married or on that track (family is very important to me)- I REFUSE TO COMMENT FOR THOSE WITH CURIOUS MINDS, IT'S MUCH TOO SOON TO PONDER
• Have some money invested for retirement etc.- CHECK!
• Have a feeling of success, regardless of income- KINDA
• Travel to several foreign countries and see a large amount of the USA- ON THE WAY!
• Write a book- YOU NEED FREE TIME FOR THAT, IT CURRENTLY DOESN'T EXIST
• Maintain my work ethic and determination- CHECK!
• Enjoy where I am at- MOST OF THE TIME
I have to say, it was an awesome thing to find. Not only has it been just 3 years since I wrote that list, but I am almost completely done with the first list and starting on the second. There is nothing like a little self-written affirmation that despite what might seem like a lack of progress, you're always moving forward.
I guess the lesson here is that so long as you're ever-seeking to better yourself, to grow, to find new ways of dealing with old problems, life will happen as it should, or better put, as it is meant to happen. Not all things that have happened to me since I graduated college have been great. In fact, a lot of things have sucked, hardcore. But they got me here, to where I am right now in this very moment.
Some things on this list will never get crossed off. I'll add new things as my needs and dreams change, and I'll bet there will probably be a few I'll happily remove for the very same reason. Every day it seems something else reminds me of the lovely evolution that is life, the combined moments and lessons along the way that somehow make for a life. I guess the responsibility left to me is to notice each day, each phase, each lesson, and to forgive myself the inevitable screw ups I manage to find myself in. After all, they might be just the piece of the puzzle necessary to check off another goal.
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